Rollercoaster

Friday, August 7, 2009

Today was one of those days that spins you around, kicks you up the backside, and then gives you a huge gift. Or a kiss. Or something. You know what I mean.
Vegas or Bust
Actually, it started last night.

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. We couldn’t get the babysitter, so we decided to stay home and have dinner, but Mark was going to bring in some cake. Except I got home first, and suddenly felt like I was going to pass out or fall over or something. Also, I couldn’t bear with bright light. It was like I had a migraine but no head ache. When he got in, I basically passed the kids on to him, and lay on the couch the rest of the night. I didn’t make or eat dinner. I didn’t do anything.

So after that failure of a night, I got up and went to work. My last day at my job that I love before my local secondment starts. My last long commute into Toronto. My last scenic walk to the office. All of this is going through my head.

I get in and find out that a friend’s partner has finally had their baby, their longed for baby, rather overdue (so we’ve been waiting to hear). The baby, a lovely healthy little girl, is wonderful.  Her partner? Almost died in labour.  Still in ICU.  May still be losing blood.  Has lost 7 pints of blood.  I burst into tears.  In my cubicle.  After the relatively minor trauma of Oliver’s birth, I just know that this is so much worse, so much scarier, is so awful for them.  I feel helpless other than to send messages of love and support.  When they are out of the hospital, I will see what else I can do.  That baby girl needs both its mothers.  Needs both to be healthy and able to care for her.

We then have a staff meeting, attended by a rather important member of senior management, for the first time ever.  Everyone is on their best behaviour, and everyone is complimented, and it’s all happy, but still – it was tense.  And then we got to discussing my departure and it’s time for my second public cry of the day.  Jeebus.

Then it’s lunch and all my lovely colleagues are taking me out.  We went to Flo’s in Yorkville and it was nice because we are never all out at once – we are not normally allowed to be.  We even manage to pop into the new Anthropologie next door to covet lovely things.  But not purchase.

Then I am meant to go to a meeting, a real meeting, but I am told I can not attend for it is time for cake and speeches.  And so there is cake and people saying nice things about me and I even try to say some things and I manage not to cry again, though there was a threat of it hiding in my throat.

And I miss the meeting, I am frantically trying to finish up some work at my desk, to crunch some numbers, do some words around the numbers.  And one of our HR staff approaches, and I think there’s something amiss with my secondment, someone’s forgotten to do sign something or whatever.  But no – it’s the rather big surprise that it turns out I am entitled to two 3.5% pay increases that I missed out on the previous two Januarys due to being on maternity leave and only being on contract at that time.  Two of those, on top of a recent 1.75% pay increase that everyone got? Means I just got a MEGA pay increase today.  Seriously significant.

And then I had to say goodbye and take the train home under the CN Tower for the last regular time, and wonder what Monday is going to be like – Monday with its entirely new office culture and unknown staff and much more time in my day.

Tears, turkey burger, cake, lottery winnings (almost).  What a damn day.

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12 Responses to “Rollercoaster”


  1. […] This post was Twitted by ewiller […]

  2. Tatiana Says:

    My heart goes out to your coworker, her partner, and their baby. That is just heart-wrenching and I hope you can update us with good news soon.

    Also, NICE pay raise news. WOW!

  3. Aurelia Says:

    Hey, having been there, with the huge loss of blood in labour a little while back, she’ll be ok, Really. It’s scary, but blood transfusions and lots of time to rest and she’ll be much much better. Don’t know if you can get her this message, but the one regret I have is that I didn’t take a couple more transfusions. They only gave me two units, but I felt so freaking fantastic from them and took so long to recover from the lack of iron—get a few more. What the hell, why not!

    Just typing this is actually freaking me out. Crying a bit.

    Big breath. Anyway, I am very glad that you will be closer to home, but sorry we didn’t get to do lunch before you left. That said, if you ever want to meet up anyway, I’m around and I’ll drive up. Just call!

  4. mapsgirl Says:

    Sorry about your friend’s partner. I’d have to agree with Aurelia said…the doctors know what they’re doing. Congrats to the new parents!

    That was a crazy day. Congrats on all your accomplishments and the raise! It’s sad to have to leave the comfort of one office for another, but being closer to home must be exciting too?!? I know I wouldn’t miss my drive into Toronto everyday! LOL!

  5. Jen Says:

    Hope your friend’s partner is on the road to recovery.

    What a great day for you though, and that shop is fab, I wish there was one here!!

  6. mancais Says:

    Hope the new mum gets well soon.
    Apart from that, sounds like a great day for you.
    Good luck for the new job.

  7. maggie may Says:

    I hope her partner is all right, I know about losing blood and transfusions..it’s scary. Your blog though, is lovely. Hello 🙂

  8. Vic Says:

    Get well wishes heaading out to your friend’s partner.
    Excellent news on your payrise!

  9. Clare Riddiford Says:

    Hope you had a fantastic day in the new office and are getting used to the change in culture

  10. magpie Says:

    Congrats on the raise(s), but I’m confused – are you changing jobs? Was this a retro raise?

    What’s a “local secondment”?

    • EWiller Says:

      A more local job – but a temporary one. As in, they are ‘borrowing’ me for a year but I keep my old job as my home position. Maybe there’s another word for that? We call them secondments.

  11. Carly Says:

    Any updates on baby’s mom?

    Congrats on everything! That’s neat. And profitable. How was the first day?


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